“Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember one rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.” – Stephen Pressfield
My 9 year old son is a dirt bike rider—has been for the last few years. It’s his love, his outlet and his challenge to himself. This statement reminded of Max learning to ride his dirt bike through rough terrain, stretching his riding skills and abilities as a rider even though he was scared to do it. He tried last year by himself (he can be stubborn like someone else in this family) and gave up in frustration, fear and tears. A couple of weeks ago he wanted to try again—this time with his dad’s help.
Even though this was Max’s idea he gave me a scared look as he headed to the field. I watched (with a glass of wine to calm the nerves) from a distance. The first go-round he went so slow–it was rough, bouncing his legs almost up to the handle bars and almost bouncing him completely off the bike. He was ready to quit but my husband encouraged him to try it again, this time with more throttle. I held my breath and watched as Benji patiently coached and encouraged him to give it more gas, to stand up and lean in. Each time Max went a little faster. Within just a few tries he was gliding across the field. He rode up to me and was all grins. He shared that at first he was scared and didn’t want to do it but now it’s fun. That was it, just a few tries, going faster and leaning in took him to what he had feared and put off for six months or more.
Today Benji was all smiles, watching in awe in as Max rode through the whoops, like he’s done it forever. He even crashed once, picked up his bike and did it again—no more fear just loving what he’s doing and rolling with it.
As I was sharing this story last week my friend pointed out how asking for help from someone who has experience (I fell in love watching Benji ride his dirt bike), who’s been where you are, can watch from the outside and can patiently guide and coach you is key to accomplishing what is important to you. That’s what Benji did for Max and why I believe he did it so quickly.
Most of the time I write and talk about taking turtle steps towards what you really want. But, the quote and Max and Benji’s story reminded me that sometimes when you’re scared of something, going slow and doing it alone it makes for a rougher ride—almost bouncing you off track and sometimes giving you an excuse to give up. But if you give it a little throttle, ask for help when it’s needed you may just glide, gain confidence in your abilities, crash and get back up to do it again—with a smile.
I shared this story live on The Life Coach Tip of the Week with Hits 105.5 last week, you can download the MP3 and take with you anywhere.
